Our Journey

Every journey has a beginning and a predetermined "destination," but it often doesn't go quite as expected. Honestly, it seemed like all the planning was often for not when it came down to it.  Family vacations were quickly led on a detour by unforeseen circumstances.

Life is a journey.  When husband and I met, our two journies suddenly collided.  What is often quite "messy" seemed rather smooth a transition.  The biggest common factor was our mutual desire to be parents.  Ironically the very subject came up "offhandedly" one night during our dating phase.

"So...how do you feel about contraception?" The handsome man beside me shyly asked.
"Not going to take it." I quickly and unashamedly retorted.

It was through the kind "advice" of a friend that I quickly understood that for many men that would have been a no brainer "run-for-the-hills" moment.  But he simply nodded and got really quiet.  I tried to smooth things out by saying, "Honestly I just always assumed I'd have kids right off. And the medication kinda scares me...bad side effects and the like." I assured him that waiting was up for discussion, but I didn't have any desire to wait longer then a year (Biological clock ticking and the like).  Plus having been raised homeschooled, kids were assumedly to be had in great quantities and in lightening speed.

Although kids was often the topic of discussion, I tried not to scare him off by being overly pushy on the matter of timing.  Then one night he called, like he always did, and we began chatting about this and that.  Suddenly he stated, "I don't want you on birth control. I think we should just try from day one." I was over the moon!! Little did I know that this week he was going to propose. Let's just say that became our destination. We were going to be parents.  We knew it was in our future.  Often we had discussed the number (that is still up for discussion) and we both knew that that number included both biological and adopted.  What a thrill that my soon to be husband felt so assured that this was the right path for our soon to be family!

We were married on a glorious day, March 9, 2013 in front of 350 of our dearest friends.  Seriously it was perfect! As I walked down the isle (of the cow barn) a rainbow came out, and the rain held off until everything was packed up in the cars.  God was so present throughout our entire dating, engagement and wedding.  We were so excited to start our life and have many little humans to enjoy it with.

Little did we know what was in store.

A number.

A number isn't always a bad thing, but being in the 14% of "unexplainable" infertility...well, that isn't as much fun (although I've jokingly said that I'm going to make T-shirts).  We have had every test run, and have experienced every range of emotions.  I've been asked and have shared with countless people about our experience.  And now looking back at over 18 months of trying...what a ride it has been.  The "destination" wasn't quite what we had expected, but honestly the journey has been well worth it.

My husband has proven himself more faithful, patient, and reliable then I ever could have dreamed.  We have been challenged daily to readjust our focus on what is most valuable.  Although sometimes I falter, I am learning to rest only on my God.  I'm just not sure how you can endure months and months of negative tests and wake up each day and move forward, were it not for the grace of God!

The most amazing part about this entire process - we just KNOW we are destined to be parents.  We feel confident in this and are eager to see how the Lord brings each little person into our family.  It was always part of our plan to adopt, and we had no real "clear" expectation on what came first.  Neither was our PLAN A or B, we just assumed that pregnancy would be the "easier" option at first.  Easier. Hah. Financially it seemed "easier" but the process has proven to be far outside of our control.

Adoption brings with it a blank slate, and in addition, LOADS of questions! Agency? Timing? Foster?  Foster-to-adopt? Open? Closed?

After loads of research we have settled on the best fit for our family, Faithful Adoption Consultants (FAC) based out of Georgia. This is a wonderful business that partners with couples in finding the best agency for them.  It does bring with it a few challenges:
1. Timing - their overall time frame is close to 4.5 months. Which is much faster (good thing) then most agencies, but doesn't leave a lot of "prep" time. (Phew...)
2. Financial - the expected price will be somewhere between $30,000 - $35,000.
3. Emotional - although this agency does have a very fast turn around, it will still be a stressful process of raising the money and making sure that we have everything ready.

We are excited. We are overwhelmed.

Prayers are appreciated.

Come December the process begins!

More information to come.