Trust me, it's worth the read!

You know that expression, right? The one that people love to share when you're walking through a disappointment: When one door closes, a window opens.

I cannot say that anyone really wants to hear those words...And I would argue that is entirely an incorrect statement, because maybe that door wasn't ever the "right" door to begin with.  If you've followed our story for any number of years, months, etc. then you know that we have a precious adopted daughter, Olive, who came to us in only 4 short months.  We always knew we wanted a big family (although the number we haven't quite agreed on) and we'd always assumed biological would happen easily, flash forward on 4 years of marriage and we've yet to have a single positive pregnancy test. We've done EVERYTHING. We've run all the tests - all which have come back positive (in fact my husband was "record breaking" to quote our doctor).  We've had two IUIs completed and even tried acupuncture 4 times.  We have charted, we have not charted, you name it, we've probably tried it.

And it seemed that God was making it quite evident that he had other plans.  In visiting with a friend, she started talking about "Snowflake Adoption" or embryo adoption. I'd heard a bit about it, but was bit apprehensive, mostly from lack of knowledge and fear that the price would be astronomical.  In mentioning it to my husband he was quite eager to pursue more information.  We scheduled a visit with our fertility doctor, after doing some research, and found out that it was far cheaper then adoptions are generally and that the likelihood of a positive results was 60-80%! We prayed and felt a confirmation that we should move forward.  In the initial consultation with our doctor we mentioned about our daughter being African American, and asked if there was a likelihood of possibly receiving AA embryos.  He mentioned a couple who was currently considering it, but discouraged us from getting our hopes up as there was not any currently available for donation.  Fast forward to about 9 months later, we received the most exciting news:

We were matched with two Indian embryos! We were beyond thrilled! We quickly told all our friends and family and eagerly awaited the start date. Literally a week later we received the news that the biological father had visited a country which made the embryos unable to be donated. We were devastated. Not only would we not have the opportunity to raise these sweet babies, but this meant that no one (aside from the biological family) could.

We were discouraged but we were back in first place on the waiting list.  Meanwhile we were actively pursuing foster to adopt as well.  I know, we are well aware that this could mean LOTS of littles in our house, but we are confident that this is the direction we are being led. We felt called to foster-to-adopt for quite some time, but we kept hesitating thinking that we would "in the future".  I'm not quite sure what the hiccup was, I guess that it would hurt. But the same friend that shared about embryo adoption is also a fellow foster mom and she told me, "Kate, you're never READY!" And that has resonated so deeply in my soul.  I kept thinking that when I'm "older" it wouldn't hurt as much. Or once "our children" (Oh, how I hate that phrase now) are raised, then we would be ready.  The reality is, there are children RIGHT NOW in need of a safe place.  It will always hurt to bond and then most likely hand that child back, but my word is that they are on "loan".  I am going to be their mama for as long as the Lord gives me, and provide a safe place filled with love and so much of the gospel.  And really, aren't all those we love on "loan"?  Olive is no more mine then Jeremy is, or then any child or person is who has come into my life.  God is sovereign and will place these little ones in our life for as long as he sees is best.  Now, it will still hurt, but as believers we are not told that life will be without pain and suffering.  

So, during these past four months (starting in March) we've been attending classes and completely endless amounts of paper work, and we've had 3 home visits.  We were scheduled to go in on June 30th to sign for our license and officially be "licenses to foster/adopt".  The Thursday before Jeremy was gone to his school to sit in on two interviews and I decided to check my email (not something I'm great at in the summer), when I saw that I had received an email from our fertility doctor's office. My heart leaped.  I quickly opened it and read the following:

We have 3 African American 

I was shocked! First of all that they were African American! 2nd that there were 3! In embryo adoption, it is most likely that you receive 1-2.  I was shaking and eagerly grabbed my phone to ask husband where he was in the process...he was still in the interviews.  Nerves going crazy I finally couldn't bear it any longer and decided to call our doctor to ask more information.  With info in tow I tried to preoccupy myself with tasks, while our daughter slept.  Once she woke up I decided we'd create a little something to share the news to daddy with.  Here's what we made!

As soon as he walked in the door, I nonchalantly (heart racing a mile a minute on the inside) told him he should go see what Olive had painted.  He took one look and said "Oh...wait, are you serious!" Then I cried.  We were both giddy, and truth be told still are.

So what does it look like form here?  In the next couple of weeks (based off my next cycle) we will go in and have an initial appointment and receive all the information regarding the medication and the process, then most likely the transfer will happen in early August!

We are aware that nothing is guaranteed, and yet we can see God's handiwork all throughout this process. These sweet embryos are the very same ones we had heard about 10 months ago!  God also was aware that we wanted our daughter to have some siblings that look like her, and he has fulfilled that desire.  He also knew that we needed to have the time to complete all the foster-to-adopt process, and he allowed it to all fall into place within 24 hours! Isn't our God GOOD!!??

Further updates will be happening, but we just couldn't wait to share our news!