A Little About Embryo Adoption…
As many of you saw, my wife recently posted about Kate and I being matched with three embryos! We cannot express to you the amount of joy we have and how thankful we are for our Lord’s faithfulness. But we know many still have questions about embryo adoption as I did when Kate first mentioned it to me.
WHY???
The first question we usually get asked is why embryo adoption? And, the clearest answer we can give you is the gospel. One of the best books I have read on adoption is Russell Moore’s, Adopted For Life. In it, he states that, “We believe Jesus in heavenly things-our adoption in Christ; so we follow him in earthly things-the adoption of children. Without the theological aspect, the emphasis on adoption too easily is seen as mere charity. Without the missional aspect, the doctrine of adoption too easily is seen as mere metaphor.” He goes on to ask the question that has haunted and burdened Kate’s and my hearts, “What if Christians were known, once again, as the people who take in orphans and make them beloved sons and daughters?”
From and early age, Kate has felt the burden for orphans. It didn’t take long for the Lord to capture my heart as well. Regretfully, when we were first married, Kate and I saw adoption as something we would do “after we had our own children.” This phrase is ironic to us now, as we have struggled with infertility since we got married but, more than ironic, it’s shameful. It’s a poor view of my adoption into God’s family. As if circumcision still accounted for anything (Galations 6:5), we associated blood relation as the necessary means to be “our children.” This thinking is exactly what Christ came to abolish and what Paul preached on in Colossians 3, Romans 8 and Galatians 4.
The Father has adopted me as a beloved son with no merit of my own. He adopted me fully by the person and work of Jesus Christ. His shed blood purchased my redemption. His resurrection reconciled me to my Father. As a gentile, I was outside of the bloodline of faith. Yet God adopted me, not as a slave but as a son. And, because of this, our hearts have been burdened to care for the orphans and show them the love that we have been afforded through Christ.
Yeah, but why EMBRYO adoption???
About a year ago, Kate and I had two failed IUIs. It was a really difficult time in our marriage filled with lots of tears. In one of the nights, through the tears, Kate mentioned something about “Snowflake Adoption.” This was the first I had ever heard of this. If I remember right, Kate had read a story about a white mother giving birth to black triplets. The story peaked my interest and we started digging in a little deeper.
There are over 750,000 frozen embryos in the United States. These embryos are fertilized and, in Kate’s and my eyes, already little lives. When a family goes through IVF, they often decide that their family is “complete” and still have left over embryos. They have 4 options with what to do with their remaining embryos: 1) discard them 2) continue to pay to keep them frozen (some have been frozen for decades) 3) donate them to science for research or 4) donate them to a family who is willing to adopt them. I recently saw a fifth option where you can turn your leftover embryos into jewelry but, so I don’t lose my salvation in this blogpost, let’s just lump that into the first category.
There cannot be a more defenseless life than this. A good majority of the secular world does not even consider these embryos as lives. As Kate and I began to do more and more research, the Lord has placed a desire in our hearts to advocate for these little lives. You can debate the merits of going to the fertility clinics and boycotting but that will not affect these lives unless someone is willing to adopt them. So, we began the process last September and the Lord has been faithful to allow us to be matched with three little embryos!
That’s great! But I don’t feel called to embryo adoption. What can I do??
I’m glad I asked this rhetorical question for you! Here’s another quote from Adopted For Life:
Not everyone is called to adopt. No one wants parents who adopt children out of the same sense of duty with which they may give to the building fund for the new church gymnasium. But all of us have a stake in the adoption issue, because Jesus does. He is the one who tells us his Father is also “Father to the fatherless” (Ps. 68:5). He is the one who insists on calling “the least of these” his “brothers” (Matt. 24:40) and who tells us that the first time we hear his voice, he will be asking us if we did the same.
While you may not be called to adopt embryos, foster children or adopt privately either nationally or internationally, if you are a believer, you play a vital role in adoption because of the adoption you have received. This most tangibly happens by supporting those who are adopting. Yes, this means financially (as adopting can be astronomical) but it goes far beyond that. You support adoption by loving on those who are adopting, asking how they are doing, praying for them, crying with them in the difficult days and sharing with others why adoption is so important. It’s not because these children need homes; that’s charity. It’s important because it’s about Jesus.
How can we support you???
- 1. Pray. This, by far, is the most important thing you can do for us. Remember us in your prayers. Pray for safety over these sweet little lives. Pray that they would all attach. Pray that Kate’s body would respond well to the medication. And pray that God would be glorified as the good, good Father that He is through our story.
- 2. While embryo adoption is much cheaper than other options, it is still expensive. If the Lord lays it on your heart to support our adoption, you can give at the following link:
- 3. Share our story and others to raise awareness for embryo adoption and other adoptions that you know of.
- 4. Support emotionally, financially and prayerfully others who you know that are adopting. It can be a lonely process and it can seem daunting. Reach out to whomever you know that is going through an adoption. Ask questions, pray and give. You don’t know how those who are adopting feel the presence of our God when you do that.
Is this over???
Yes. Thank you for taking the time to read a bit of our story and a little about embryo adoption. Kate and I pray that it blesses and encourages you!
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